The Pushers

Lessons Learned: October 3-9, 2009

2009-10-12T18:23:00.000-07:00

This is what I learned this week.

Lessons Learned: October 3rd through October 9th.
*I should not look at an open bar as a challenge. (I realize I've written this before... but I obviously didn't learn my lesson the first time.)
*Jello shots at weddings are magical.
*I don't have ADD... I'm just bored with everything around me.
*Sometimes I can be really mean.
*There's nothing wrong with denial.
*I like being surrounded by people... even if I have absolutely no desire to speak with any of them.
*Late night dance parties in my kitchen should happen more often.
*I can dip a girl like nobody's business.
*7am is not an appropriate hour to go to bed... especially when I have to be at work by 9.
*The Pushers are either on the verge of something great or headed for an imminent collapse... I'm not sure which I'm rooting for.
*I make mistakes.
*And finally to steal from The Muppets... I think I lost my sense of direction.

Lessons Learned: September 26 - October 2, 2009

2009-10-04T18:18:00.000-07:00

This is what I learned this week.

Lessons Learned: September 26th through October 2nd.
*There are West Coast biker gangs in Hampton Roads.
*They don't have senses of humor.
*I need to be more careful about who is in attendance when making an ass out of myself in public.
*I should start locking my bedroom door.
*When you fuck up it's always good to apologize.
*I'm fascinated to hear what people really think about me... even when what they think isn't very flattering.
*You're only as great as your last accomplishment.
*My Facebook should come with a breathalyzer.
*I like it when people take my side.
*Sometimes I can't take a hint.
*I don't like having to always include everyone.

Lessons Learned: September 19-25, 2009

2009-09-27T20:01:00.000-07:00

This is what I learned this week.

Lessons Learned: September 19th through 25th.
*Certain people can make me do stupid things.
*I've not had a vacation in 4 years.
*Wine and dinner with friends should be mandatory for Monday nights.
*Whiskey makes everything better.
*I'm a sucker for a pretty face.
*Whiskey can lead to trouble.
*Boredom and I don't get along.
*I wish I was someplace other than here.
*I have the beginnings of a great idea.

Lessons Learned: September 11-18, 2009

2009-09-20T12:12:00.000-07:00

After much soul searching, badgering and the realization that I often make the same mistake twice... or even three times... Lessons Learned are back.

This is what I learned this week.

Lessons Learned: September 11th through 18th.
*It appears that as I get older, I'm getting more immature. Sometimes it worries me... not enough for me to actually do anything about it... but it worries me none the less.
*I don't think my high school self would recognize the person I am today.
*My facebook statuses are often misinterpreted.
*Sometimes too many good ideas is a bad thing.
*Revisiting old memories with old friends is great. Making new memories with these friends is better.
*An accent can make a girl seem way hotter than she actually is.
*My emotions have led me to a very dangerous place.
*Sometimes the grass really is greener on the other side.
*I don't like confrontation.
*British people can't play flip cup.
*Creatively, I've found myself in a sort of limbo. And I'm really in no rush to get out.

Lessons Learned: October 17-30, 2008

2009-09-18T14:16:00.001-07:00

Originally published October 31, 2008

This is what I learned this week.

Lessons Learned: October 17th through 30th.
*I think I found my creative drive again. I just need to see who wants to come along for the ride.
*Screaming "Let's make some babies!" in the middle of a wedding reception does not endear you to the parents of the bride and groom.
*It may be time to stop looking at an open bar as a challenge.
*A new suit makes a world of difference.
*When getting a girl's number... it helps to also get her name.
*I am looking forward to reconnecting with some old friends.
*Any date that starts at the bar of a Ruby Tuesdays can not end well.
*I don't mind using someone, if I know they are using me right back.
*"I have a gun and I'm going to start murdering people" means the party you're at has taken a weird turn and that it's probably time to leave.
*I need to really start paying attention to that little voice inside my head that says "...this is a bad idea that's going to come back and bite you in the ass."

Don't forget... My Halloween Bash is tonight. Bring yourself, bring a friend (preferably slutty) and bring some beer. I guess I'm not going to be listening to that little voice tonight.

Lessons Learned: October 4-16, 2008

2009-09-18T14:11:00.000-07:00

Originally published October 17, 2008

This is what I learned this week.

Lessons Learned: October 4th through 16th.
*I should not be held responsible for anything I say while double fisting beers and martinis.
*It does not make me lazy if I stay in my pajamas until 8pm.
*I think I'm in a creative rut… though honestly for that to be true I would actually have to be doing something creative.
*Unexpected late night guests are awesome.
*I have a knack for getting myself into trouble… even when I know better.
*Being the go-to guy can be a drag.
*I enjoy hosting late night parties.
*Corn whiskey probably shouldn't be used for drinking games.
*I need to pay more attention when girls are checking me out.
*Drunken conversations about horrible break-ups is an enjoyable way to spend the evening… though I'm not sure what it says about me that I had the best 'worst' story.

Lessons Learned: September 13 - October 3, 2008

2009-09-17T14:15:00.000-07:00

Originally published October 6, 2008

This is what I learned this week.

Lessons Learned: September 13th through October 3rd.
*Drinking an entire bottle of Johnny Walker causes me to say and do stupid things.
*I can put up with many unappealing qualities in a girl if she's cute… however boring is not one of them.
*You can spend 8 hours walking the streets of New York and never talk to a single person.
*I am often arrogant. Often my arrogance is justified.
*Turns out sending a cute girl a plate of bacon in a diner is not the same as sending a cute girl a drink in a bar.
*Picture mail is awesome… especially when the pictures you receive are of naked women.
*I like being forced to work outside my comfort zone.
*There is nothing more frightening or exhilarating then stepping out in front of an audience and not knowing what you're going to say.
*I've been suffering from annoying bouts of "being a gentleman".
*Don't leave your cell phone unattended unless you want text messages like "I like your breasts" and "I miss your vagina" sent to random people in your address book.

Lessons Learned: Road Trip Edition

2009-09-17T14:04:00.000-07:00

Originally published September 12, 2008

For the next two week I will be in New York taking an improv course at UCB. I left Friday night around 9:30pm and made the 7 hour trip. 7 hours alone in a car gave me some time to think and reflect...

Lessons Learned: Road Trip Edition.
*WaWa does not sell porn.
*Drinking two 5 Hour Energy Shots will not give you 10 hours of energy.
*It will make you feel like your heart is about to explode.
*Valero does sell porn.
*There is a lot of music on my Ipod (I mean hundreds of songs) that I have absolutely no idea how got there. Which leads me to believe that my Ipod is a whore... or that I should start drinking less.
*The Canton Inn just may be my Shangri-La.
*I want to know who Johnny Janosik is? Okay, so that's not really a lesson... but for the love of god, his name is all over buildings between Maryland and Deleware. Who the hell is this guy?

Lessons Learned: September 6-12, 2008

2009-09-14T21:00:00.000-07:00

Originally published September 14, 2008

This is what I learned this week.

Lessons Learned: September 6th through 12th.
*If you have naked our comprimising photos on your cell phone... there's a good chance they will one day be sent to most of the people in your address book.
*Despite having a pretty good draft, my fanatsy football team is in serious trouble.
*My conscious/morales tend to surface at the most inopportune times.
*Now that I have started to put my idea for a short film onto paper I realize it's not as short as I first thought.
*Drinking beer on a fire escape is not a bad way to spend an evening.
*After 10years, my job and I may be headed for a nasty break-up.

Lessons Learned: August 28-September 5, 2008

2009-09-14T20:54:00.000-07:00

Originally published September 6, 2008

This is what I've learned over the past two weeks.

Lessons Learned: August 23nd through September 5th.
*I've always been very good at controlling my anger. I'm the king of letting things just roll off my back. Until lately. Lately I've had a very short fuse. I don't why... but I'm starting to really like it. Now it takes nothing for me to go from 0 to 60 and completely loose my shit. Which leads me to...
*When I get really angry, I can say very mean and hurtful things with little to no effort. I am a very observant person, so I've gotten very good at zoning in on the one thing that will crush a person's spirit.
*I don't always regret saying these things.
*Getting bitten hurts.
*I have a crush on someone I've never met.
*I am not a violent person. At all. But I've learned there are certain people I'm not above hitting. Even if I consider them my friend... or if they're a girl.
*I have a hard time being creative if I don't have a deadline or some sort of pressure hanging over my head.
*There are some big decisions concerning by future looming on the horizon... and an inordinate amount of people who seem to be hanging their futures on what I decide.
*This is very stressful to me.
*I've learned that there are people in this world who really hate me. Not hate enough to wish me dead... but hate enough that when I say hi to them in the grocery store they take a second to stop and look at me then continue on as if I was never there.
*There are two people in my life upon whom I base nearly every major decision I make.

Lessons Learned: August 16-22, 2008

2009-09-14T20:34:00.000-07:00

Originally published August 23, 2008

Okay... so here's what I learned this week.

Lessons Learned: August 16th through 22nd.
* I have the beginnings of a pretty good short film rattling around inside my head.
* I'm not sure how to get it out.
* Rarely does anything good come from drinking till 730 in the morning... even when nakedness is involved.
* I've lost 24 pounds since April.
* I enjoy and excel at being a dipshit, but for some reason people keep pushing me into positions of responsibility. I can understand that from strangers... but my friends should know better.
* Sleeping in till noon is habit forming.
* I've become very fond of gin.

Lessons Learned: August 8-15, 2008

2009-09-14T20:18:00.000-07:00

Originally published August 15, 2008

Now that The Pushers are on a extended hiatus, I've found myself with an abundance of free time. Past experience has shown that me and free time usually leads to trouble... so after much deliberation I decided to use the time to better myself as a person. Then I realized that even with this new plan, I would still have a lot free time left over.

To eat up that time, I've decided to chronicle my journey of enlightenment. But instead of doing the whole journal thing... which I really don't have the desire or patience to follow through with... I'm going to just give the bullet points of what I've learned each week.

If for some bizarre reason you have an aching desire to know more about one of my lessons, just ask.

Lessons Learned: August 8th through 15th, 2008
* I miss the process of making a film. I don't miss the process of making a film in 48hours.
* My hair color is not Real Black.
* I've been labeled a SLB (Sly Boob Looker). Which is refreshing, because I always though I was pretty obvious in my boob looking.
* I don't like feeling like I'm being taken for granted by people I care about.
* Some people find me arrogant. I always thought of myself as confident. I'm fine with either one.
* I'm slightly envious of Neil Marshall.
* I'm ready for August to be over.

Lessons Learned

2009-09-14T19:58:00.000-07:00

Over the past couple of weeks, I've been getting a lot of shit for abandoning my lessons learned. So after much soul searching, I've decided that it maybe time to bring them back. Be on the look out for new lessons learned... coming soon.

In the meantime I'll be reposting the originals from the myspace blog. Enjoy.

2009-05-18T21:41:00.000-07:00

I was at Cogans the other night, when the guy at the next table leaned over and said "Are you one of The Pushers?" Now this actually happens quite a bit. One of us will be at a bar or at the mall and we'll be recognized from one of our sketches.

Brad is usually greeted with "Hey Hump!" Tiffany will get "You're the Orbitz girl." or "I love your Smurfette." Even Ed will occasionally get "It's the Lowell the Hammer Stanley Dude." I don't get any of that.

Before we go any further, let me just say... I'm not the best actor in The Pushers. In fact there are some who say I might be the worst (but that's a topic for another time). However, despite my acting limitations, I have been able to come up with a few memorable characters in my 4 year history with The Pushers. There's my dim-witted and self absorbed Superman. There's my put-upon, grade school, spelling bee host. I even have Hoshua, the highly emotional, very stereotypical, gay, Hispanic waiter.

I'm not recognized for any of those characters. For me, "Are you one of The Pushers?" is always followed with "You're the guy who kicks girls in the crotch." and occasionally "You're the one who does that bit about how easy it is to nail Hampton Roads' chicks." I should also mention that for some reason I always get noticed when I'm on a date... or with my mom.

Anyway... for some reason when the guy at Cogans asked if I was a Pusher, it started me thinking about my legacy. What are people going to remember about when I die? Does anyone else think about that? I've received some fairly decent accolades in my day job, but honestly only the people at work and my mom really care about that. I don't have any kids (that I know of) yet, so I can't live on through them.

It's a weird feeling knowing that if I was to suddenly die tomorrow, my obituary would read "He liked to kick girls in the crotch and supposedly knew the secret to getting Hampton Roads' women into bed." I guess there are worse things to be remembered for.

What about you? What will you be remembered for? ...or better yet, what do you want to be remembered for? Leave a comment and let me know. I already said what I will be remembered for... but I wouldn't mind when I'm gone if someone would say "You know his Superman was pretty good... I mean he was no Christopher Reeve or even Dean Cain... but he wasn't bad."

Oh yeah... the guy at Cogans... his follow up to "Are you a Pusher" was "Cool. Are you using that ashtray?"

I want these

2008-09-02T19:07:00.000-07:00

These are ingenious. I wish I thought of them first.

Damn You George Lucas!

2008-04-30T15:31:00.001-07:00

Further proof that George Lucas is the anti-christ.

Here are some 'Lucas approved', Star Wars themed ads from Japan.
He's got Chewie, Yoda, and the gang shellin' for Coke, cell phones, walkmans, and a bunch of other crap.

Also thrown in are some weird movie posters.

Tracy Morgan

2008-04-22T15:46:00.000-07:00

...some people love him. Others can't stand him. I never found him very funny on SNL, but have changed my thinking after watching him on 30 Rock.
I'm not sure what this is from... but I like it.

Ode to Wilhelm

2008-03-19T12:00:00.000-07:00

The Wilhelm Scream is a stock sound effect, first used in the 1951 film Distant Drums. It was used sporadically in films during the 50s and 60s, but it was in the 70s that it hit the big time.

While working on Star Wars, sound designer Ben Burtt discovered a sound effect labeled 'man eaten by alligator'. He recognized it as a scream used in the 1953 film The Charge at Feather River, and called in The Wilhelm Scream after the character who uttered it... Private Wilhelm.

After a little more research he tracked down the sound effect's true origin, Distant Drums. It's believed that the scream was recorded by singer Sheb Wooley (of Purple People Eater fame), an actor in the film. Since Star Wars, the scream has experienced a renaissance, being used in more than a hundred film, including nearly all those by Lucasfilm.

The Scream:

And a look at just some of the films that have used Wihelm:

Bob and David are back.

2008-03-17T14:22:00.001-07:00

Rejoice Mr. Show fans. Turns out Bob Odenkirk and David Cross have been working on a new sitcom for HBO.
You can get more info here.

some cool stuff

2008-03-14T15:44:00.000-07:00

Here are a couple of songs from Gina Dalmas' performance at The Taphouse. The highlight... Pusher Ed Carden's deer-in-the-headlights look as he accidentally walks in front of the camera.

comic book nerd heaven.

2008-03-04T10:22:00.001-08:00

As excited as I am about the upcoming Batman and Iron Man movies, what I really, really can't wait to see... is this:

The House Guest... part 2

2008-03-03T10:09:00.001-08:00

The House Guest

2008-02-27T07:41:00.001-08:00

Jesus is Light... and very dirty!

2008-02-22T16:18:00.001-08:00

I really don't have anything to say... other than I want one.

Posters

2008-02-21T14:50:00.000-08:00

Here's a look at The History of The Pushers... through our posters.

Summer 2005

March 2006: We're Back

September 2007: Richmond and The Norva

October 2006: A Romantic Evening with The Pushers

November 2006: Richmond II

November 2006: The Naro

December 2006: Channel 757 Film Festival

January 2007: The Norva II

June 2007: The Pushers Invade Granby Street

August 2007: Now with Alcohol

December 2007: The Taphouse

January 2008: Back to The Taphouse

January 2008: Mature Sketch Comedy for Immature People

January 2008: The Charleston Comedy Festival